Life Choices
by MssrTragicandConsumptive
Summary: Does anyone ever wonder how Remus ended up with James and Sirius? Honestly, he still isn't very sure himself. How the Mauraders got their start. Tumblr request Baby Wolfstar


_**Finals are over, so what do I do? I write 4000 words in Wolfstar for you!**_

_**~Mssr. T&C**_

Now there is surely some eloquent quote somewhere, some philosophical saying, for how meeting new people can change your life. The thing is Remus Lupin doesn't think it is fitting to attach such a quote to this situation. Yes meetings have changed his life, but eloquent, graceful, gentle quotes from old literary legends are hardly appropriate for being swept up into the tornado of pranks, rule breaking, mischief, and general mayhem that crashed into his life the night he met Sirius Black. No, there was nothing delicate or tactful about it, and therefore, cannot be deemed with one of the O! So illustrious life lessons he has memorized from his profound reading experience.

The closest thing Remus Lupin can liken or use to describe meeting Sirius Black, is being hit by a twister on a broomstick…naked. Humiliating, exhilarating, mildly confusing, rehabilitating, and intoxicating…With more than a small possibility of a head injury. Sirius was everything Remus was not (with a bad attitude mixed in), but had always wondered about and wanted, very deep in his little brain, to touch and see. Sirius was something strange and terrifying, acting entirely on impulse, with the strangest reasoning behind it.

In short, Remus' meeting Sirius was something like an explosion. Some unknown combustion, and because of that moment, that second, that wrong step in the Great Hall, Remus' life had been changed forever. More so than he could ever imagine. Even if he hadn't wanted anything to do with it at first.

Remus feels exactly three inches tall. This may have to do with the fact that he is the smallest of all the first years, and therefore the smallest of all the students congregated at the giant oak table. He sinks down further on the bench and chews his lower lip. He is fairly certain that if he stays quiet no one will bother him, or pick on him for his size. All the other Gryffindor boys were tall for their age, small muscles on wiry boy arms. None of them have scars up their arms, or bandages hidden under long robe sleeves. He stares pointedly at his plate, the contents of his breakfast untouched due to the flopping in his gut that bodes ominously.

Up until the prior day, Remus had never once been in a room with more than five people in it. The hundreds of swarming around him, pushing against him, looking him over, it makes him feel horribly vulnerable and afraid. He has nowhere to hide and he was not at all keen trying to be sociable when he feels like puking. That is the last thing he needs, to go butter up to someone and lose them if they figured anything out about him, and possibly his right to be at the school. Although going home and being homeschooled by his mother is sounding more and more appealing with every passing hour.

"First years better head off to Transfiguration, otherwise you'll be late!" The Gryffindor house prefect advises as he walks by the table loaded with jabbering eleven year-olds pointing to the ghosts and tapestries that they hadn't managed to point at the night before. Remus is happy to oblige. He stands quickly and sidesteps a girl with a massive amount of red-brown hair, and smacks into a shoulder. He blinks, going cross-eyed a moment before looking up, and then freezes on the spot.

Remus may be sheltered. He may live a life of being quiet and going out of his way to be unnoticed, but he knows who this boy is, and not just because he was the talk of the table after the sorting the previous night. Sirius Black looks down his nose at Remus, a cold glint in his hard grey eyes, and an aristocratic sneer playing on his lips. Remus takes a step back.

"I-I'm sorry-didn't see you-" Remus stammers, his voice trembling in a rather horrific way that reminds him that he doesn't have enough experience talking to people. He probably never will, because the look his is getting at this moment sort of looks like it's the end of the road, and that Sirius, who is a good four inches taller than him, not to mention probably skilled in six pure blood styles of fighting, is giving him a look that could curdle pumpkin juice. If that were even logically or scientifically possible.

"Are you blind? Or perhaps you just can't see round your big nose well enough to keep from slamming into people?" Sirius' voice drips venom and Remus brings a hand very self consciously to his nose, face heating up. He now feels only two inches tall.

"I-I-_am_ sorry-" Remus tries again, wanting, wishing with every fiber of his being that he can just somehow get out of this alive, pack his bags, and beg Dumbledore to let him go back home.

"I would hope so-" Sirius sneers, then lifts his arm and dumps the goblet of pumpkin juice he had been holding on Remus' head, making the untamed mess of brown curls plaster to his face and drip stinging juice in his eyes. He makes a small noise of surprise. Sirius lets out a bark of laughter and turns on his heel, walking away. The whole table is staring at him now, he can feel eyes stuck on him like his shirt is sticking to his neck and a squeeze of mortified panic clutches him.

And then a very small hand is on his and a pair of bottle green eyes have found his gold ones. A young girl, with a braid of red so deep and rich it put velvet to shame falling over her shoulder, is standing in front of him, her lips pressed as she pulls a handkerchief from her pocket, pressing it to his dripping cheek.

"What an arse." She mutters, glaring at the general direction that Sirius slipped off in. Remus blinks and she offers a little smile. "I'm Lily Evans. You're Remus right? Let's get you cleaned up okay?" Remus nods dumbly and she removes him, by some act of sainthood, from the Great Hall and the sea of staring eyeballs.

Somehow Lily Evans got Remus not only cleaned up, but to Transfiguration. She spoke softly, gently, which Remus likes. She also read books, and told him that they should go to the library, that he'd like it if he liked books. She was gentle, and honestly, Remus could hardly complain. Even though he didn't want to make any friends, she was grounding and sweet, which he was grateful for on so many levels it bordered worrisome. He stuck close to her as the days passed, and to his great relief, she didn't seem to mind at all. She was easy to talk too, and after a few days he found he could speak easily with her.

However, there was another problem in Remus great plan to be unnoticed by everyone but Lily. He and Sirius Black were in the same dormitory. This was something Remus had overlooked entirely until he had gotten home the night of the pumpkin juice encounter. To make matters all the more wonderful he and James Potter had become fast friends, and thus they loudly go about their little late night adventures in the dorm as Remus sits on his bed, curtains drawn, and knees pulled to his chest. Whenever he got in Sirius' way he got an elbow to the side, or a nasty remark on his face, or some other generally cruel amount of bullying. Not that he didn't deserve it, he supposes, being what he is he really shouldn't take the bullying to personally, he will more than likely get it all his life. Lily kept telling him that he should try standing up to Sirius, but Remus couldn't seem to do anything but make a defiant little huff at most of the comments.

* * *

One particular morning, when Sirius had starts yelling at him for no particular reason in the bathroom, Remus slumps down on the bench between Lily and James, who seems to enjoy watching Lily quietly while she ignores his existence, and drops his face into his hands. She touches his shoulder and pours him a cup of juice.

"I don't understand-I haven't said three words too him, and he hates me." Remus groaned. "I mean, I don't want to be friends or anything, but I'd like to not threaten to get my head knocked in while I'm trying to brush my teeth." Remus mutters from between his fingers. Lily shakes her head.

"It's not your fault Remus, he comes from a sour family. The Blacks are all nutters with bad tempers. I have no idea why he got into Gryffindor." She shakes her head, loose red hair falling into her face. "Maybe it's a strange way of him trying to be friends?"

Remus makes a noise that is supposed to be humorless laughter, but sounds more like a dying sigh.

"I want to go home Lily. I don't belong here." Remus sighs very softly. She regards him quietly. He must look defeated because she is biting her lip, which he can see from the corner of his eye. He doesn't belong. And, he thinks to himself, if he went home right now, went and packed all his things, he could skip double potions that afternoon before he humiliated himself by blowing another cauldron to bits. Someone clears his throat next to Remus. Remus looks up. James Potter is looking at him, good natured blue eyes dancing under his glasses.

"Y-yes?" Remus falters, not entirely sure he likes that look.

"I'm James Potter." He says, like this is something profound.

"Err…I know?" Remus says, quirking an eyebrow.

"You are Remus Lupin."

"I…am." Remus is getting more confused by the moment. He knows that James knows who he is, they live in the same dorm. He is obviously missing something substantial in this conversation. Or perhaps James is missing something substantial in his brain.

James then stands up, and walks away. Remus stares after him, jaw falling open. What on earth were these peoples' problems? He looks at Lily, she shrugs.

"He is insane Remus, don't pay any attention."

If only it were that easy.

* * *

The following day, Remus is spending his evening in the library, where it is nice and quiet, planning various little things for an assignment. He has mapped out a large amount of the history for the first magic based war when a pair of hands comes down on his table and startles him so badly he nearly leaps right out of his skin. The book slips from his hands and to the worn, wooden tabletop with a 'thump' and there is James Potter, grinning like a madman right at him.

"You-are a scary Bloke-" Remus sputters, putting his book back, hoping that maybe James will lose his mind somewhere else. Preferably not in the library, or on his homework.

"You're studying." James replies, glasses sliding down his nose. His hair does impossible things on his head.

"I am." Remus goes back to reading the history book in his lap.

"It's Friday." James points out.

"That's nice." Remus says absently, not even sure why James is in here. The thought floats across his mind that James would have actually had to have looked for him, considering he was in the reclusive corner of the library. What was he playing at?

"Why are you studying on a Friday?" James pesters, poking at Remus' books.

"Why do you care?" Remus lifts his gold eyes to fix on James, something stirring in him that is a little new and interesting. He thinks the proper term would be called 'irritation'. It makes him suddenly more articulate than he has been up until now.

"I just want to know!" James grins, obviously not taking the hint, either through ignorance or simply not caring that Remus' eye is starting to twitch.

"Because we are at school. We have homework. One finishes homework through looking at the text book and putting the quill on the paper and doing this thing-with your hand- called _writing_, which I cannot do while you are in here, staring at me, and asking me why it is I am doing the things that I am doing with no apparent reason!"

James stares at Remus.

Remus glares with all his mighty tininess at James.

"Have a good night." James grins, and then saunters of.

Remus feels like his head might combust.

"I live with a load of madmen." He drops his head on the table.

* * *

Things get progressively stranger the following week. James begins randomly appearing like a phantom in various places, says a few very bizarre things, and then just vanishes without a trace. It begins to grate on Remus, who is two days from a very bad night, and just wants to finish the last of his work so he can go kindly throw up in the bathroom sink, thank you very much.

Then on the night James knows Remus is suppose to be in the library, he isn't there. He also doesn't come back to the dorm. He also isn't in class. He is gone for three days. When he shows back up, he looks like death warmed over. James decides, evidently, that this is his business and must be investigated promptly.

"Hey Remus!" James declares the morning he comes back, they are sitting at the breakfast table and Remus is rubbing his temples, looking oddly like a drowned kitten who hasn't slept in twenty million years.

"Just…sod off James. Please. If you start-my head will just-explode. All over the table. You wouldn't want that would you?" Remus cocks an eyebrow. He has stopped stuttering at James, being shy, being generally awkward. Honestly he is downright annoyed of the other boy and his sudden, intrusive appearances. Especially right now.

"Where were you?" James continues, leaning on the table next to Remus. "You didn't come back to the dorm, and you weren't in class!"

"Wha-" Remus paused. How did James even _know_ he wasn't in class? They didn't sit next to each other, and they didn't talk unless James ran up, asked him if the sky was blue, and then vanished. "I was visiting a sick relative."

"You look sort of sick too." James points out.

"I am. I have the flu. Go away." Remus feels his temper slipping with his headache and he doesn't want to deal with it anymore. He stands up and gets free of the table, turns, and walks into someone's shoulder, face first. He makes a pained noise and smacks a hand to his forehead as his head sort of pounds between his eyes fit to split open. He feels a wave of Déjà vu.

"Bugger." He says thickly, and then looks up.

"Do you ever watch where you are going?" growls Sirius Black, whom he has done such a majestic job of avoiding for fear of getting his head smashed into a wall, or possibly fed to rabid house elves. Currently that doesn't sound like a bad option due to the headache and having James as a stalker. He half wonders if he should ask Sirius to brain him. Impulse seems to finally override Remus' brain.

"How about _you_ watch where _you're_ going?" Remus snaps, glaring up at Sirius, who blinks, not expecting a comeback. "And while you're at it, get of your bloody high horse! Oh, and try rinsing you bloody toothpaste out of the sink before you make fun of my nose! It's disgusting!"

Sirius' jaw sort of drops, and he gaps rather unbecomingly at Remus, who makes a little noise of harassed irritation before turning and stomping away.

Sirius stares after Remus, still dumbfounded, then he looks at James, who is grinning, he must think he looks suave or something, but he sort of looks a little like a mad scientist with his glasses sliding down his nose again.

"I think he just…told me to piss off." Sirius says slowly.

"I think he did too." James grins.

"No one tells me to piss off." He says in the same awed voice.

"Except Remus Lupin." James snags a muffin and hooks and arm around Sirius' shoulders.

"Apparently." Sirius says, looking at James and stealing his muffin. "Why am I not pissed?"

"I don't know. Sort of hard to get pissed at something that looks like an angry cat when he puffs up." James shrugged.

"I can't believe he told me to piss off." Sirius replies. James rolls his eyes, trying to get his muffin back.

"Some people don't care about aristocrat blood and stuff. He strikes me as one of them blokes."

"He told me to _piss off_, James!"

"Oh don't get your knickers and a twist! Gimmie my muffin!"

* * *

Remus is still in a foul mood at the end of class, so he stomps to the library and sits down in his corner with a huff. Studying always calms him down, and reading would help him focus on something other than the need to knock Sirius and James' heads together. Had he suddenly become some object of interest? He couldn't help but feel he was going to end up the rear end of some awful joke. That certainly seemed up their alley. He didn't want anything to do with either of them. Period.

"Why Hello there Lupin!"

Remus' eye twitches dangerously, before he grudging looks up over his books to See James Potter, as per usual, watching him with his blue eyes glimmering secretively. Today however, there is someone else with him, much to Remus' surprise. Sirius stands behind James, arms crossed over his chest, a huffy, brooding look on his pale face. After the morning's encounter Remus hadn't expected to see anything more of Sirius except perhaps his fist if they walked past each other in the corridors.

"Go. Away." Remus says very slowly, so that James won't misunderstand his tone of voice for anything but unwelcoming.

"Honestly, you're reading, you're in the _library_ all the time! Get out! Live a little!" James pushes his book to the table.

"I _like_ the library." Remus goes back to scribbling on his parchment. "And books are quiet, unlike you. And they don't give me headaches."

James tosses a look at Sirius, whose lips go tighter as his frown deepens.

"C'mon, come out and hang with us." James says a little more gently. Remus' eyes snap up and lock on his face.

"What in Merlin's name do you think is going to posses me to hang around with the 'Man of Cryptic Hellos', and the 'Great Pumpkin Juice Tosser'?" He snaps. James raises and eyebrow, and from around his frown Sirius goes a little pink.

"Because we're funny?" James tries, a little warily. Sirius smacks a hand to his face.

Remus stares at James like he has three heads, fingers twitching on his parchment. James takes a step back. Sirius drags his hand down his face and steps forward.

"Look, you should just-not-just-" Sirius seems to be having a hard time grasping the positive section of the English vocabulary. "Fresh air. Just…come out and sit and talk and…not be in here. You'll suffocate."

"Oh, well wouldn't my suffocating saving you precious time in the morning? One less victim to throw snarky comments and generally bull-headedness at?" Remus' tone is short and clipped, but he sees something sort of flicker in the hard grey eyes now peering at him.

"If you suffocate in here I might lose my mind, not having someone to torment in the mornings." He looks Remus dead in the face.

There is a long pause, where James wonders if Sirius is going to take a book to the head, and then something very peculiar happens, something James has never seen.

A very uncharacteristic grin splits across Sirius' face, his eyes shining. "Maybe I'll even rinse the sink out."

"Come outside and spend time with my tormentor?" Remus raises an eyebrow, but for some reason the smile on Sirius' face is making his own eyes spark, and a little tug of curiosity pulls at him. It is the faint itch, something similar to the concept of standing on a cliff and deciding whether or not to jump.

This was probably that moment in Remus Lupin's life where everything changed permanently. This was probably the moment he traded in his peace and quiet and sweaters with tea for the life of adventure and friendship. The moment where his walls were broken and suddenly he had something to lose. This was the moment that would shape the rest of Remus' life.

Remus smiles back at Sirius, his eyes bright gold in the dim library light.

The two of them, grinning like proper berks as Sirius reaches forward and takes Remus' quill and sets it on the table.

"Live a little, Lupin." He grins still, leaning back.

"Says he who dumps pumpkin juice on unsuspecting strangers." Remus stood and rolled his eyes, still smiling as he put his things into his bag, as if going and spending time with a pair of boys who he had been trying to avoid all day was something he is use too.

"Well, since we aren't strangers now, I guess I can't really do it again." Sirius offers. James snorts behind him.

"What are we then? Besides the tormentor and the tormented?" Remus looks at them. James and Sirius smile at each other, catlike smirks that match. Remus raises an eyebrow.

"I think…" he grins, as Remus steps around the table and James slings an arm around his small, bony shoulder.

"That makes the lot of us…" Sirius copies James, wrapping an arm around Remus' other shoulder and he finds himself squished between the two bigger boys, a little apprehension on his face as they keep grinning.

"Friends." They say together.

Remus looks between them, a strange feeling gripping his chest.

He had made a promise not to get close to anyone.

But 'anyone' had seemed to have found him.

Maybe, just maybe…

"You two…are going to be the death of me aren't you?" Remus sighs softly, shaking his head, but he is smiling.

"Oh probably." James nods cryptically, as they walk forward, arms still on Remus' shoulders.

"More than probably." Sirius replied stoically.

"Oh what have I gotten myself into?" Remus says dramatically.

They all look at each other, and then start laughing.

Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad thing.


End file.
